Getting Paid for Having Fun

So the results of the poll are in. 68% of you voted for me to use my wee doggy to meet other sexy dog walkers. This is a good plan as the rest all involved some form of danger (potentially life threatening danger).

I was going to implement it this evening. I was even sitting at work thinking about what route me and Battle Cat could take when The Punchbowl Girl came up to me. She had Betty Blue's book on her and was talking all about how she couldn't wait to get started on it. It was gonna be so cool. She was going to go home and stick on some grunge and hit the books, or book.

I chatted with her a wee bit. I was thinking that I should start getting to know her and thinking about her as a person and not just someone I want to shag. When she said to me:

"Don't go back to work straight after break."

She told me to follow her and she led me into the disabled toilets where we humped like Puffing Billy.

We came back to work a whole twenty minutes late but I wasn't bothered about that. It was great to be getting paid for humping. A whole £1.94 (rounding up) but what happened was worth so much more.

Christmas Shopping In Belfast

I tried to do some Christmas shopping today but Belfast was bunged. I headed straight for bargain books. This is where I'd get most of my stuff. I saw a book on true crime which I thought Fabian Wildman would like but then I remembered him saying he was going to stab Ron Weasley for me, so I decided I didn't want anything that might push him in the wrong direction. I know he'll steal anything he gets me but just like the Hermione Granger poster it'll be a good gift. I think he's been dropping hints it'll be pajamas, after my two recent bollock naked incidents. I hope he steals them out of a shop because I don't want to wear something someone might have wanked in.

I bought him a book on dreamology because it might help him understand his nightmares a bit better, even though dreaming about a violent satanist with a knife can really only mean one thing.

I bought Battle Cat a squeaky bone out of a pet store because he's chewed the shit out of the other one and he's started on anything that can look shit with a bite out of it. I bought him a few.

I found a little wooden horse in a knick-knack store and thought about getting it for Hooka, but then I thought it was a bit gay and left it.

Then I went and found Wino Jo and invited him to mine for Christmas day, but he said that our Metaller brother in Larne had already invited him. So I gave him his Christmas Present (a bottle of Black Bush) and wished him a happy Christmas.

Then I went back to the knick-knack shop and bought the little wooden horse for Hooka.