Would You Fuck Iris Robinson?

We sat round in work today discussing who'd fuck Iris Robinson. It turned out no one would apart from Kissy Boy, and it wasn't because he was a big DUP fan but more that he said she had a certain way with her, a sparkle in her smile, but when the girls were away he said that she was a dirt bird and he wouldn't touch her, even for £50000, even if he'd a few bottles of champaigne in him that she bought for him and she was wearing "proper gear" underneath one of her tacky overpriced Lisburn Road "boutique" affairs (no pun intended).

He was getting a bit worked up about it, and I started to suspect he'd only been telling a half truth about not wanting her, but he was saved by an interuption from another member of staff Fat Mo. Fat Mo doesn't say much but he had plenty to say about us slagging off The First Lady. He said that she was the third most important woman in the UK after The Queen and Sarah Brown.

No would could argue against this because no one could be arsed explaining politics to Fat Mo. He went on to say that to think about Iris Robinson was a woman not to be thought of in a sexual way and only a scumbag like Kirk McCambly would do something as outrageous as this. His eyes went all fucked up when he said this like he could almost not comprehend how the guttersnipe had dared to even speak to her.

Little My said that McCambly was a cutie and Book Boy says he looked like the sort of kid people slagged off at school for fucking citrus fruits. Probably, none of us could be sure.

David Cameron doesn't care if his wife doesn't cum

Today I had a whiff of what Kissy Boy does to earn his sex man status in the call centre. He started a conversation today about making women cum. He said that all men care about making women cum and that it's just a myth that men role over and go to sleep after they've cum.

Some girl said that her last boyfriend used to wank in the shower and wipe it on the wall. The room went quiet then and it seemed she'd cast herself as the unwanted one in the office (Little My smiled to herself at that point).

Kissy Boy spoke up and said: "I can't believe that men like that exist, I always make sure the woman comes first."

"Yeah right, all men want to come," said Little My, rampant on 5 cups of tea.

"Don't worry, I always cum. It's easier if I know my woman has cum too. It's great when we cum together."

"I think David Cameron wouldn't care if his wife SamCam came," said Book Boy. Book Boy is intelligent, he has a masters degree in politics and likes to talk about intelligent things.

"Yes," said Kissy Boy after a thought, "I don't think Conservative Party leader David Cameron would care if his wife came or not. Even Labour Leader Gordon Brown would make sure that Sarah Brown came."

We all agreed that David Cameron would only care about his own orgasm and would drift off to sleep soon afterwards, and if SamCam whimpered or asked what about her he'd slime :"at least I came."