Saturday, 6 April 2013

One of those letters I find on the ground and pick up and read like a nosey bastard. Don't know who it's to

Man I felt so like, what the fuck, for like so fucking long and I just bought bag after bag of reefer and it was all so we could hang out and blaze up and listen to like I dunno Van Morrison or Elvis Costello or something like cool but low key and I just wasted a whole bunch of my time trying to like relive or recreate something I dunno but I think things just got stagnant and kind of festered cause I was spending so much of my money on reefer and I wasn't keeping up with things even though I'd the internet and maybe I've never been good at that and using the internet is kind of a cheat I dunno because it's a hard oul game but I felt like I had to make some kind of an effort and I was walking around all kind of messed up but no one I knew could tell and I was at that place where we bought the sausage sandwiches or maybe that was with someone other than you but I remembered it as being you at the time now I'm not so sure and I wanted one again but I'd come out without my wallet so I wouldn't buy more reefer and I couldn't afford one and I just sat on a wall watching other people eat them and I wanted one so bad even though I had sausages and sauce and bread at home and could have walked there in five minutes and made my own I guess it just kind of made me realise how I've been wasting so much of my time on all this when really it was all in my head in some ways I couldn't describe it and a friend told me about limerence and these things all added up to show that I'd had the wrong answer all along and now I'm just keeping it real and sorting things out for myself I hope you're well I really do.