A few nights ago was a friend's birthday, and I'd bought a big bag of reefer for us to smoke together.
I didn't have her address so I posted up on her facebook asking for her address but she never got back to me. I sipped vodka in my livingroom and skinned up some reefers for us to smoke together.
I got this crazy idea in my head that I could easily find her house as Belfast isn't very big (it's not that big!)
So I skinned up some reefers for the journey and took off out smoking one. I had it hanging out of the side of my mouth and I wasn't wearing a tee-shirt.
The peelers stopped me and I just took the reefer out of my mouth, stubbed it out on the wall and stuck it in my pocket.
The peelers wanted to know why I was naked from the waist up.
I told them I wasn't naked and pointed to the sunglasses I was wearing on my face.
The peelers said they were about to ask about them too.
I started humming that 'moves like jagger,' song and shuffling about on my feet.
The peelers asked me if I was high. I told them I wasn't. I was just excited because I was going to pick up my laundry from my friend who washes my clothes for me.
The police said that explained a few things.
I asked them if they knew her address because I'd smoked too much reefer to work it out.
I was also too wasted to beat the peelers up if they'd started a tussle.
The peelers thought I was joking and told me to be on my way.
I told them I'd go where I wanted, and started to sing 'Moves Like Jagger,' out loud, while dancing around.
That was the end of that. I didn't find my friend's house and went home to smoke the bag of reefer by myself. It was a nice evening.
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