I was reading the BBC news this morning when I came across an article saying five Northern Irish MPs want to bring back the death penalty. My first thought was I bet that daemonic bastard Sammy Wilson is among them.
Those of you who've been reading my blog for a while will know that when I was high on crack I was sometimes visited by a daemon who I suspected was Sammy Wilson. Turns out I was right! This motion may be some ritual dressed up as parliamentary proceedure and even a basic knowledge of satanism suggests that the other four represent the cardinal points!
It makes sense that a satanic idol would want the death penalty brought back, but what about his four cronies: David Simpson, Jim Shannon, Jefferey Donaldson and Gregory Campbell (soupy!).
Jim Shannon - Embarrassed Northern Ireland by speaking Ulster Scots in parlament. David Cameron even told him to 'catch himself on'.
Gregory Campbell - Hard faced old bastard.
David Simpson - Who's he?
Jeffery Donaldson - Said in an interview that he doesn't mind getting mistook for Daniel O'Donnell 'We've been friends for years. If someone asks me to sign one of his albums or something I just write Dan and they go off smiling.'
hahaha - i could believe this when you put it in those terms (cardinal points) - would Sammy act as the sorcerer or warlock or whatever, then? as for Jeffrey Donaldson i believe he'd represent fire - as i hear he is a fiery one in the confines of his own hotel room. it was said (and i'm sure [no joke!] it were him) that when all this stuff was going on in the media about super injunctions that it came out in the wash that Jeffery, after he'd done all his important work in parliament, liked to to back to his hotel room and unwind by renting hardcore gay porn on the pay-per-view...as well as this there were some not so well substantiated suggestions that he was fond of hiring rentboys, too...but whatever, he did take out a super injunction - and my little informers tell me it was to stop above claims being reported...
ReplyDeleteI always saw Donaldson as water, in that he probably pishes himself. Especially when he's digging on the pay per view stuff.
ReplyDeleteDavid Simpson would be air because no one really notices him no matter how much he's there
Gregory Campbell would be earth because he's a stony facedbastard
Jim Shannon would be fire because his loins must be burning with shame after he was voted the ugliest bastard in parliament by users of http://sexymp.co.uk.
Sammy Wilson MP would of course be high magus and dance around in the nip in the middle of a giant DUP pentagram.
Or so I'd imagine.
Let's push to find out about Donaldson's super injunction. I think it'd be kinky and be a lot more scandalous than gay porn. I'd suggest toilet rolls and hedgehogs.