So the Irish Blog Award shortlist is out and I'm not on it for the third year running, what do I have to do? Post some fucking lolcats or something else predictable and pish? I thought since the Irish Blog Awards are being held in Belfast this year I might just offer whatever pussy assed mutherfuckers made the shortlist out for a fight but slapping the wee wankers about Great Victoria St when they're here for their one night of fun in the year is a bit mean.
So I won't.
I could, no?
Anyways, I won't do anything else bad like get a job as a waiter for the night and spit in your booze or whatever, na fuck that. I'd like to go all Bruce Wayne (incognito) to the event and make nice with everyone and pretend I'm writing an article for my school paper etc and find out who was in charge of the short lists and by fuck if it was a man I'd follow you into the toilets and stand beside you at the urinals pish all down your leg but even if it was a man I bet the fucker pishes sitting down so that's out the window too.
No offence by the way to ladies out there who pish sitting down I know that's just the way you're built. You can pish standing up if you so want to but be warned it will run down your leg.
Fuck it that's my rant over. I'm staying away from the blog awards. I might give the Europa (that's where they're being held I think) a casual two fingers as I walk past it on my way to someplace cooler.
Here's rock and roll sweaty heavy metal band Tool in a more reflective mood. This is how to threaten someone:
You're mellowing. There's a time you'd have threatened broken limbs all round.
ReplyDeleteyou didnt actually leave and neither did i! i went private.. let me know if you still wanna follow so i can send you an invite... fuck awards, theyre all politics.
ReplyDeletex and o
s-o
PattyPat - I just don't wanna spoil the fun. I guess I'm a masochist.
ReplyDeleteScarlet-O - Underground is the new overground. We can womble free there. Send me an invite to tuesdaykid@yahoo.co.uk.
No one takes the Mully's mate's awards too seriously.
ReplyDeleteLol don't worry, there were a fair few good blogs missing from the shortlists and few "Huh, really?" blogs present in too many categories...it's a bit pot-luck with who you get as your judges, methinks!
ReplyDeleteAnon - Me neither, but it's like some wee wanker egging your window. You didn't ask for it but it still pisses you off.
ReplyDeletechicknamedhermia - Not to say the blogs on the shortlists are all bad there's some I really like but there's also a few that do predictable lolcat shit. Ho-hum, there won't be next year.
Did you see the list of finalists. There are some serious "What???" moments.
ReplyDelete- Discoverireland's tourism "blog" getting listed in sport and recreation.
- The Irish times getting THREE nominations in the journalist category squeezing out Ronanlyons who also loses out in the News/Current affairs but then pops up randomly in the specialist category.
- Trevors kitchen garden getting nominated in the political blog section??
-The BBC gets a nomination???
- All the "Lifestyle" finalists are Fashion and Beauty. Did Beaut.ie (the sponsors) get to pick them or did Damien fit the finalists to the sponsor?
- Spanishexposition is nominated in the best Irish Language blog category but isn't in Irish???
- And there are several blogs with multiple nominations which Damien always says is not allowed (so far I've found: Irishtimes, twentymajor, chronicreload, loladee, onefabday).
- twentymajor gets shortlisted for a post he wrote in Feb 2011??? I thought it was on 2010 posts?
Much of it seems to be about Damien Mully wanting to get as many journalists and potential sponsors in as possible and then he slotted in his friends.
I hadn't dug that deep into it. Now I'm going with a bladder full of pish for this guy's leg.
ReplyDeleteThere is one "personal" blog in there that only started in January. As in a few weeks ago. They didn't blog once in 2010. Must be a pisser to be beaten by a blog that doesn't even exist. There are some serious rumblings out there that Mully has crossed the line this year. Expect a real Irish Blog Awards later this year.
ReplyDeletejust cottoned the last couple of days i was on the longlist, and shitman, not wanting to be wilfully flipant, but like you say there's a lot of lolcat shite up there, so i could give a crusty yellowed wank rag to be there too - you're known by the company you keep after all, and aside from a few notable exceptions this rings true here as well.
ReplyDeleteplus, what you get from it anyway? no scratch, that's for sure. some big clunking shitey award statue, that's only good for clobbering a cunt with, if you're that way inclined, or as a door stop/paper weight. and what else: yeah - prestige and kudos - can't eat that shit, baby.
and if this blogging blofeld tully is as incestuous as above commenters suggest you'd have only ended up thinning your dna in partaking in sticky incestuous entwinings with em all at their 'eyes wide shut' illuminati snuff orgy anyway!
Anon - Ghost blogs can really be a pain in everyone's fuck hole can't they.
ReplyDeleteDanny - It's not so bad it's just that I don't like that someone took a look at some lolcat shit and my blog and then said: I really love that lolcat stuff, it's way better than this Tuesday Kid guy.
Then they probably turned on BBC NI's comedy show lol and left a big wet patch on their sofa. Just sitting pishing and pishing themselves at all the weak jokes and then going and looking at some lolcats and screaming the house down because lolcats are just sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo FUCKING FUNNY. HA HA HA HA FUCKING HA HA FUCK FUCK WHO THE FUCK LIKES LOLCATS I MEAN FOR FUCKSAKE THAT'S SUCH A FUCKING INSULT. I'M OFF TO TRASH MY HOUSE.